


Cruel

by orphan_account



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: M/M, Sad, atsuhina mentioned, i dont think its heartbreaking sad but i also read mcd fics for fun, i think this is sad, no beta we die like men, there isn't a lot of dialogue in this, well kinda
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-15
Updated: 2020-10-15
Packaged: 2021-03-08 20:14:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,184
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27022582
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Why is the universe so cruel to us when it comes to love.
Relationships: Hinata Shouyou/Miya Atsumu, Miya Atsumu/Sakusa Kiyoomi
Kudos: 31





	Cruel

**Author's Note:**

> hi hi hello
> 
> so i just want to start this off by saying that this is the first time i've written any sort of fic in ages. so i am so so so sincerely sorry if this is trash lolol. uhm basically just wrote this in 30 mins. i usually read fics before i sleep like every sane person but today this just came to my mind and i HAD to write it out. theres really not much dialogue, i dont really know how to describe how i wrote it but it just felt right.
> 
> anyways, pls enjoy and comment if you like it? maybe i'll start writing again if someone actually enjoys this haha

Kiyoomi didn't mean for this to happen. He knew that he had some sort of feelings for Atsumu but he didn’t think they were this severe. He was so out of touch with reality and believed that his feelings towards his teammate were appreciation, not love. 

How did he let this happen to him? How did he let himself fall so deep for Atsumu? How can he do this to Hinata?

Kiyoomi knew that he was a blunt asshole but he never thought he would see himself fall in love with his teammate, let alone someone else’s boyfriend. 

His realization isn’t new; Kiyoomi has been letting this realization marinate in his mind for a week, mainly to see if it was a fluke. Sadly it was not. The moment he laid eyes on Atsumu at practice he knew it was real, he was in love and it pained him,

Kiyoomi has never been able to have the things he truly wanted, never has been able to experience anything out of his comfort zone and now he won’t be able to love the one person, other than his cousin, that hasn’t once made him feel like a crazy person. What did he do wrong to deserve this constant disappointment and heartbreak from life.

The worst part of this all is the fact that he’s had many chances before to pursue anything with the loud setter. Atsumu isn’t one to shy away from feelings or flirting of any sort. He used to always express his interest in Kiyoomi, whether it was romantic or platonic, it was always there. However, Kiyoomi being himself, the sad mysophobic boy he is, always shot Atsumu down because he wasn’t able to get out of his comfort zone for him. 

He sees how happy Shoyo is with the setter, how content they look together, how perfect everything seems to become for them the moment they got together. He thinks about how that could’ve been him and he’s jealous. Why didn’t he go out of his comfort zone for Atsumu even though he yearned to? Why couldn’t he have realized that what he felt for Atsumu wasn’t anything other than love? Why can’t he ever get the happy ending?

Seeing Atsumu and Hinata together physically hurts him; it keeps him awake at night in tears. He dreams about life with Atsumu, about how Atsumu would treat him like he was his everything. Kiyoomi often finds himself thinking about confessing to Atsumu, wondering if the man has any sort of feelings for him like Kiyoomi believed he once did. 

_ ‘Will confessing make me feel any better?’  _ Kiyoomi thinks to himself one cold and lonely night,  _ ‘Probably not.” _

Nothing will make him feel better, not at this point at least. All there is left for him to do is accept these feelings and try to move on. Moving on will be a hard task and Kiyoomi knows this, especially when he spends most of his time with Atsumu and their team. How can he move on from his love when they are always around him? 

Kiyoomi thinks about transferring to another team, while MSBY Black Jackals is everything he’s wanted in a team, he can’t stand to watch the man he loves express romantic feelings to anyone that isn't him. He doesn;t think it’s healthy for him to be so jealous of his teammates. Kiyoomi believes that the best way for him to move on is to change his entire lifestyle, even if it includes his volleyball team. Transferring to another team won’t be hard for him to do, he’s one of the most sought out players in the field, he’s sure any team would want to have him. So Kiyoomi calls his agent one afternoon and tells him that he wants to change teams, when asked for a reason Kiyoomi answers with a vague, “Just cause.”

Next time he meets up with his team he tells them all about his plans of transferring, as expected they were all confused by Kiyoomi’s decision but didn’t pry too much about his reasoning. They respected him as they always have and expressed their sadness but their good wishes to him, well not all of them. Atsumu didn’t say anything, didn’t ask anything, he just stared at Kiyoomi with an unknown emotion painted across his face. Atsumu proceeded to ignore Kiyoomi for the rest of the day, no “Omi-Kun” and “Omi-Omi” when he set for him; no compliments or snarky remarks when Kiyoomi spiked, served and received; absolutely nothing. 

Kiyoomi didn’t know whether he was relieved or sad by Atsumu’s refusal to acknowledge him. He didn’t know whether he wanted to laugh or to cry while the love of his life acted like he meant nothing to him. He should be happy right? He should be happy that Atsumu isn’t going to say anything to him about his decision that might make him cancel the plans all together. Yet, there he was, yearning for Atsumu’s reaction, his thoughts, just anything. But Atsumu was cruel, he’s always been cruel. He’s cruel with the way he treats Kiyoomi like he’s a prince, cruel with the way he giggles whenever Kiyoomi insults him, cruel with the way he used to text Kiyoomi randomly when he saw things that reminded him of Kiyoomi, and most importantly, cruel with the way he made Kiyoomi fall in love with him. Miya Atsumu was a cruel, cruel man and he continues to make Kiyoomi feel emotions he doesn’t want to feel. 

After practice, everyone except the two of them left. They just next to each other on the bench, both waiting for the other to initiate the conversation. Atsumu was trying to gather his thoughts and form a sentence while Kiyoomi doesn’t think he can open his mouth without sobbing. 

“Omi,” Atsumu whispers, nervously clawing at his fingers, “Don’t go.” And that was it, those were the few words needed to set Kiyoomi off, they were all he needed to allow himself to cry after holding it in all day.

“I have to,” Kiyoomi quietly sobbed, “I can’t stay here and pretend that everything is okay Atsumu. I can’t keep putting myself through agony, I just can’t.”

Atsumu just watched him, watched him with confused and sad eyes, like he didn’t know that Kiyoomi was talking about him.

“I’m in love with you, I know it’s not fair for me to confess while you’re in a relationship with Hinata but I love you so much that it hurts. It hurts so much Atsumu and I can’t keep doing this to myself, so please don’t tell me to stay,” Kiyoomi confessed before standing up and leaving.

Atsumu stayed there and watched his first true love leave him in tears. He watched as Kiyoomi moved further and further away from him behind blurred vision. He sat there in regret of what could’ve been if he hadn’t given up.

  
And while one walked away and the other sat in regret they both thought,  _ ‘Why is the universe so cruel to us when it comes to love.’ _


End file.
